How to seduce in a bar without appearing desperate?

This is an important question for those looking to meet new people and perhaps strike up romantic relationships. Of course, bars are places where people meet, relax and have a good time. But if you’re there to flirt, there are a few rules to follow so you don’t come across as a sex maniac.

First of all, it’s important to be respectful of other customers. Avoid insistent stares and inappropriate behavior. If you want to strike up a conversation with someone, make sure you do so respectfully and without insistence.

Next, it’s important to be interesting and let the other person express themselves. Ask open-ended questions to learn more about the other person’s interests. Avoid talking only about yourself and your life. Be prepared to listen carefully and show that you’re interested in what the other person has to say.

Finally, bear in mind that not everyone is there to find love. Some people are simply there to relax and have a good time with their friends. Don’t be too insistent if you sense that the other person isn’t interested.

In short, seducing in a bar without appearing horny is all about being respectful, interesting and attentive to others. With a little tact and patience, you just might find the right person for you.

You’re an avid bar-goer, just like the rest of us! However, you often run into difficulties when approaching women, as they tend to flee quickly. We’ve noticed that nothing is less attractive than a man who clings to a woman insistently, as if he hadn’t had contact with a female figure for a decade, and who gives the impression of being totally desperate. This behavior sends out unflattering signals such as “emotionally dependent” or “in urgent need of a sexual relationship”, which flash in bright colors across your forehead, which is hardly sexy.

That’s why we’ve compiled a few tips to help you seduce with elegance in bars and achieve greater success, whether you’re looking for sex or not.

– First, eye-contact. Before rushing to your date’s feet, practice eye-contact. From across the room, exchange glances with her, discreetly, but still supporting your visual interaction. In this way, you create an initial link at a distance, showing that you’ve noticed her among all the others and that you’re paying attention to her.

– Don’t focus all your attention on her. Yes, pay attention to her, but don’t stare at her either. Go about your life, laugh with your friends, enjoy your evening. If you do, you’ll look slightly obsessed.

– Delay slightly the moment of making real contact with her. Don’t rush at her as if you’re afraid she’ll pass you by. Be confident. It’s not a game of musical chairs, and if she’s as interested in you as you are in her, the meeting will happen.

– Introduce yourself very simply. Once you’ve made contact, go up to her and approach her with simplicity. Say, “Hello, my name is Bastien, may I know your name?” or simply “What are you drinking, does it look good?”. The key is to keep it simple and relaxed.
The more stressed you seem at the idea of talking to her, the more unnatural the contact will be, and the more you could be handicapped.

– Have a little chat with her and don’t hesitate to tell her you’ll get back to her a little later, and go back to spending time with your friends. Not that we’re pushing you to play hard to get, but get a life! Don’t let her feel that your only motivation tonight is to get her. Even if it is. Go back and forth between her and your friends, even if it means asking her out for a drink after a while.

– Finally, once you’ve made contact, exchange numbers. Don’t go straight to “Are you sleeping at my place tonight? Propose an exchange of numbers and you’ll see whether she suggests continuing the evening together or not. Remember that if the contact is really good and she really wants to, she’ll offer, so there’s no point in forcing the issue, which would make you look… desperate.

Here are a few tips to use without moderation to woo while looking elegant and classy, and therefore standing out from 90% of the guys probably present at the same party.

It’s up to you!