Tips for avoiding awkward moments of silence on a date

If you’re stressed at the thought of blanking out on a date with a girl you find gorgeous and interesting, here are a few tips you can implement to avoid this.

First of all, it’s important to remember that blanks are not dramatic. It’s better to keep quiet than to say anything just to fill the silence.

That said, there are a few tricks you can use to avoid blanks. For example, prepare yourself before the date by thinking of interesting topics of conversation. You can also ask your interviewer open-ended questions to get her to talk about herself, her passions and interests.

It’s also important to listen to what she has to say and bounce back. You can also share your own experiences and opinions on similar subjects.

Finally, don’t forget to relax and take time to breathe. Pressure can make you want to fill the silence at all costs, but this is often counterproductive. Instead, try to relax and enjoy the present moment.

• Keep her talking

Observe her and ask her questions about herself to get her talking. This makes you the leader of the discussion, since YOU get her to talk without forcing you into endless logorrhea. What’s more, if you talk too much, you’ll come across as a raconteur, a guy who listens to himself talk, and that’s not very glamorous, let’s be honest. Questions can be diverse: if she seems to pay attention to her image or likes fashion, ask her about her clothes, where she likes to shop, her relationship to fashion. If she seems rather interested in mechanics, arriving at the appointment on a motorcycle, ask her about her passion for two-wheelers, her type of bike. In short, learn more about her by asking questions.

• Ask open-ended questions

An open-ended question is one to which you can’t give a yes or no answer. For example, instead of asking her “Do you like motorcycles? which might give her a “yes” and that’s it, ask her “How long have you been a motorcycle fan?” or “How did your passion for motorcycles come about? Here, you’ll get a story, you’ll know more about her and you’ll have a lot more opportunities to bounce back.

• Look around you

Where you take your date is very important. It’s a way of starting a lot of conversations and finding out more about her. For example, if you take her on a date to an ordinary place, you won’t really be able to discover her through her apprehension of the place. But if you take her somewhere original, you’ll be able to discuss it together and find out what she likes and doesn’t like. If you take her to a beautiful restaurant or café filled with plants and a special decor, you can ask her if she likes nature and plants. If she’s more of a sophisticated woman, or more of a casual one, you can test the waters. If not, offer her a coffee to take away somewhere and walk with her. The street is a great place for curiosity, and you’ll find situations to bounce back from that will give you something to talk about.

• Keep it light and funny

How can bringing a touch of humor to a blank help you? It’s very simple. You can play it straight, and it can be very funny: “One thing’s for sure: we’re not disturbing the romantic dinner at the next table! It’s a good way to get the ball rolling, since she may also be shy or embarrassed, and it’ll lighten the mood by making her laugh. The important thing is not to take things too seriously.

In short, be attentive and create the conditions yourself to make the discussion interactive, and above all, don’t be scared to death of those little moments of silence that sometimes suffice simply to hold her hand or give her your best smile.