The importance of not confusing flirting with harassment.

Our team of female coaches has often wondered how a normal man could sincerely fail to perceive the huge gulf between seduction and harassment. Why do men find it hard to understand that there is a significant difference between flirting and insisting? Why do some men think they can cross the red line and make it work? What is their self-perception that justifies such aggression?

After interviewing several men on the subject, the answers seemed logical, though not acceptable. It seems that men are often brought up to be conquerors and can’t stand rejection. They often have the idea that everything is allowed to them, that nothing resists them. It also seems that the idea of forcing a woman’s hand persists despite changes in attitudes and behavior. These preconceived ideas come from another era and have no place in the 21st century.

So, gentlemen, our recommendations are simple:

1) When a chick says no, it really, truly, unambiguously means NO.

2) When a woman shows no desire to get closer to you, when she tries to put a physical and/or verbal distance between you, it means she doesn’t want you to insist. She wants you to respect this distance.

3) When a woman refuses a drink, a date, an invitation or a token of affection, it’s because she’s not interested in you. Insisting in this case becomes harassment.

4) If the woman you’re flirting with doesn’t respond to your calls, texts, e-mails or any other manifestations on your part, stop immediately.

5) Touching a woman’s shoulder, forearm or hand is a sign of attention or affection. Taking a woman by the shoulders, putting an arm around her waist, even taking her hand without her having indicated that she felt like it, is a mark of appropriation. And appropriating someone’s body without their consent is harassment.

6) Talking dirty, making inappropriate sexual allusions, talking ambiguously about the direction your relationship might take is harassment. Who gives you the right to be so vulgar?

7) Making a woman understand that if she doesn’t finally give in to your advances, she’ll pay the price is not only a form of harassment, but also an act of intimidation punishable by law.

Now you have enough examples to distinguish the wheat from the chaff. But since you’re obviously a Lover, there’s no way you’re going to give in to this kind of old-fashioned behavior.