20 Looser attitudes

Some people have natural charm and charisma, while others try as they might, they never manage to be attractive. If you fall into the latter category, at least avoid those pathetic behaviors that characterize the average loser.

1. You’re late for appointments. If you’re unreliable or condescending right from the start, she’ll cross you off the list, and between you and me, that’s all you deserve.

2. You broach the subject of the ex (or your exes). The ex or exes are the most powerful poison of all. If you feel the need to put it on the table between you and your new conquest, she’ll understand that you’re not ready.

3. Drown her in a tsunami of compliments. This totally has-been technique, which consists in showering your date with all the superlatives in the dictionary in the hope that after so much kindness she’ll spread her thighs, is the best way to kill your date. So find the right dose.

4. You give the impression of being an emotional dependent. If there was a time when women liked to play mother with the man-children who became their husbands, this is no longer the case. Women want an autonomous companion who, without being totally indifferent, knows how to maintain a certain independence.

5. You’re unkempt, you have bad breath, you don’t look clean. There’s no point in flirting if you’re not on top of your hygiene game. Unless you’re a David Beckham fresh from a soccer match, glistening with the sweat of a hero, you’ve got no chance!

6. You’re insistent, borderline stalkerish. With the hashtags #moiaussi# and #balancetonporc#, do we need to explain? And if you’re the kind of person who thinks that, because of all these denunciations, you don’t even have the opportunity to flirt without fear, then you’re a big c… The Lover knows the difference between flirting and harassment.

7. You constantly consult your smartphone in her presence. Really, the young-frame-dynamic-overbooked attitude will leave your conquest assured of being cuckolded before she’s even put her lips on yours.

8. You’re the champion of self-pity and devaluation. Ask yourself this one question: why would a woman be interested in you if you’re worthless? Would you try to sell her a car by telling her it’s rotten?

9. You touch her without her wanting you to. Of course, you need to create physical contact, physical intimacy, but if you feel her withdraw when you move your hand closer, stop your gesture and postpone your attempt. If she’s not more receptive on the second try, she’s really not interested in you.

10. You’re not really listening. If you’re not interested in what your conquest is saying, end the meeting right away. If you don’t, you’ll sooner or later suffer the wrath of her displeasure. To pretend is to set yourself up for a blow you won’t even see coming.

11. You reek of macho. You use sexist, reactionary language in the guise of humor. Being manly doesn’t mean sweating your masculinity for miles around. The manly man of the 21st century embodies his masculinity in actions ranging from parachute jumping to diaper changing. So if you want to convince people that you’re a man, be as sensitive as you are physically strong, as interested in fashion as you are in soccer.

12. Play the wild sex beast. Your eyes are dripping with testosterone, you’re horny and she either finds you repulsive or ridiculous. Contrary to what some male seduction coaches preach, no, women don’t systematically feel the urge to be taken brutally on the hood of a car by an unmannerly lout.

13. You believe that the woman in front of you is bound to fall for you. For sure, you’re dead if you think that way and she sniffs you out.

14. You broach heavy subjects that make your conquests want to run away screaming “Sauve qui peut”.

15. You always want to have the last word. The worst blunder is to show off beyond reality by claiming you’re right all the time. That’s as far as your conquest will take you, and you’ll be labeled “slob of the week” in an instant.

16. Your paternalism is old-fashioned. Women don’t need any more of your reactionary patriarchal advice.

17. You’re negative. NO! The lover is an optimistic man who always finds solutions when something goes wrong.

18. You can’t stop talking about yourself, which is a good indication of your narcissistic side that will quickly bore your conquest. You’re so secretive about yourself that your conquest may fear the worst, from psychopath to double agent. Find the right balance between interest and self-indulgence.

19. You always agree with others. We’re not asking you to be a provocateur, but having an opinion that stands out from time to time makes you a thinking person.

20. You know everything about everything, you’ve seen it all, you’ve experienced it all. You’re the Confucius of modern times… That’s the best way to end the evening alone, but chances are… so is life.