Seduction and dignity

The idea is that sometimes, when we’re in the process of seduction, we tend to want to please absolutely, as if the stakes of this encounter were going to define our whole life, and make us adopt behaviors that are frankly pathetic. Let’s not mince words.

So how do you maintain a certain dignity by revealing enough of yourself to seduce a woman without looking like a total loser?

Not begging for affection is definitely our number 1. We’re not begging anyone, gentlemen, NO ONE. There’s nothing more off-putting than a guy with “emotionally dependent” written across his forehead, who doesn’t know you and begs you to love him back. First of all, because it’s oppressive. If you’re already like that at the start of the relationship, it doesn’t bode well for the near, and distant, future, and no well-balanced woman is going to want to be with a man who doesn’t let her breathe for a second or who projects his whole world onto her beautiful, sensual shoulders.

Then, it really gives the impression that you’re a fairly narcissistic person. Who begs a lot? Yes, children! Because they have no awareness of others and see the world only through their own prism. Do you want to be a big child for a woman to deal with? No. Would she want a big child to manage as a man? Also no.

Finally, begging for attention and love conveys the image of a man who has no self-confidence. And who doesn’t like himself because he thinks he has to beg for attention. Again, this is really, really, really unattractive. A woman wants a man who’s good at his job, who’ll be there for her as much as she wants him to be there for her.

Don’t make passive-aggressive your leitmotiv. Passive-aggressive behavior consists in trying to provoke reactions in the other person by adopting an aggressive but concealed attitude. In other words, you think that by saying or doing this or that innocently, you’ll get a reaction (often negative, such as jealousy) that will fill you with self-esteem.

Well, no. First of all, it’s a very common practice – lots of people do it, so it’s very easy. Secondly, if you’re up against a woman with a modicum of intelligence, she’ll see through the maneuver and run for the hills. Because it’s immature and no enjoyable relationship can be based, whether it’s a passing sexual relationship or a lasting one, on coming and poking the other person. The whole thing is cruelly lacking in dignity, and we’re talking about yours, not his.

Secondly, if you think that poking the other person with false naivety means that she cares about you or that you have power over her because she reacts as expected, that’s quite ridiculous, because in fact it’s not that she’s attached to you personally, but just because anyone who tugs at her heartstrings would get the same reaction. In fact, it communicates an “uneasiness” she has, but in which you have nothing to do. So stay dignified, treat her with kindness.

Don’t constantly devalue yourself. If you want to please a woman, she has to feel that you like yourself. Otherwise you’ll be showing her that she has no interest in you because you’re not interested in yourself.

In short, be nice but not a mop, value yourself but don’t be full of yourself either. A happy medium is needed to regain your dignity and seduce the women around you.