You are often told that women are attracted to confident men, those who dare and who know what they want in life. But how do these men manage to accomplish all this? From the outside, it may seem simple. You probably think that, given their profession, their attractive physique or their financial situation, they have everything going for them and it is therefore easy for them to seduce.

Make no mistake! What allows some men to easily approach a group of women, to seduce them or to give off a natural charisma by their simple presence, lies in their self-confidence.

Good news for you, self-confidence can be acquired and developed!

Once upon a time there was a human

It all starts in childhood

At birth, we arrive in a world that is completely unknown to us and we learn, step by step, to understand its rules. Very quickly, we realize that the relationship with others is important (essential even). Some people like us, others less. Sometimes, we are found to be great, sometimes we are made to feel that we are not the best. It is in light of all these events that our self-esteem and our self-image are built.

This is also when self-confidence is born. The more we have an esteem and a self-image that are fair (that is to say corresponding to our real capacities), the stronger the confidence we have in ourselves will be.

Esteem, image and confidence

Let’s start by defining these three concepts.

Self-esteem is the judgment and evaluation you make of yourself.

Self-image is how you see yourself (physically and morally).

Self-confidence is born from these two foundations and represents your ability to accurately recognize your strengths, weaknesses and potential.

Self-confidence and seduction

Now that you are clear on these terms, put them in the context of seduction. If you have a poor self-esteem and image, it becomes very difficult to approach a woman. The moment you imagine yourself talking to her, many limiting thoughts will invade your mind:

• I’m not interesting enough;
• a woman like her will never want a guy like me;
• sure, she must already have someone;
• no chance she’ll say yes to me;
• With a woman like her, I’m sure I’ll end up a cuckold.

And so on. The result: you will have spent more time imagining disaster scenarios that feed your lack of confidence than actually talking to this woman.

Now you understand why self-confidence is an essential element of seduction and life in general. The more self-confidence you have, the more you will dare to act according to your desires.

Having confidence in yourself will then allow you to:

• to be noticed;
• to be respected;
• to dare to make proposals;
• to assert your opinions.

In short, you will stop playing the role of the extra in your own life.

3 Things to Do to Build Confidence

Getting to know each other

As I said above, the image and esteem you have of yourself today have been built in relation to the views of others. To gain confidence, you must first deconstruct what you think you know about yourself.

Step 1: Ask yourself these few questions

• What do I like to do in life?
• What do I hate?
• In what situations do I feel strong, competent, comfortable? Why?
• In what situations do I feel worthless, incompetent, embarrassed? Why?

Step 2: Ask yourself the following questions:

• What skills would I like to have?
• What would I like to change in my life?
• If I could be anyone else, who would I want to be? Why?
• Once I have acquired all these skills, how will I feel?

All these questions will help you get to know each other and this is important, because when you seduce, the other person does not know you yet.

The woman you go to will be looking to learn things about you. If you have nothing to say about yourself, no dreams, no desires… She probably won’t follow up. I invite you to remember and integrate the following sentence: The most important thing when you meet someone is not to be the best. It’s about sparking interest, making the other person want to know more about you.

Developing your skills

If you think you’re bad at sports, bad at English, or bad at cooking, but you’d like to know how to do these things… Learn!

It’s okay not to know everything. On the other hand, complaining about not being up to par, without trying to be, is more problematic. By seeking to develop your skills, you will see yourself change and at the same time you will change the image you have of yourself.

Another positive point is that it gives you a good topic of conversation. It can also give you new ideas for activities to do together. When you are in the seduction phase or looking to spice up your life as a couple, moments together are essential. They bring you closer, allow you to be more intimate and create a bond.

Are you learning to cook? Great, take a cooking class together. Do you want to learn to speak English? Great, you can watch a series in the original version. Did you sign up for a CrossFit class? How about a session together before going to brunch next Sunday? Do you see where I’m going with this? It’s about creating opportunities, quality time that will allow you to strengthen the connection between the two of you.

Remember, developing your skills is a great way to:

• to fill your schedule;
• to have things to tell;
• to create moments together;
• to feel better, less passive;
• to further assert your personality.

Accepting your weaknesses

Finally, and this is essential, I invite you to accept your weaknesses. You are not Superman and that is OK. Anyway, he’s already taken. What I mean is that the woman you are trying to seduce doesn’t want a superhero. She wants to meet a man she will feel comfortable with and have a good time being herself.

Just like you actually, right?!

Knowing where your limits are will help you avoid putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. You don’t know how to ride a horse, you’re afraid of heights, you’re not comfortable at social gatherings… Don’t do these things just to impress him.

Having self-confidence means:

• know what you can do;
• be aware of situations that will work against you;
• accept yourself without denigrating yourself;
• live without letting the gaze of others define your actions.

There you have it! You know everything. And no, there is no magic formula and that’s a good thing. The time you spend getting to know yourself to take care of yourself will be really beneficial. By developing your self-confidence, you will be better able to approach a woman who is up to the beautiful story you want to live. A woman who will appreciate the man you are and accommodate your “flaws”.