The supposed qualities of the “alpha male” are actually misleading.

The term “alpha male” comes from the animal kingdom where it refers to the most dominant and highest ranked individual in a group. He is the first to feed, mate, and gets what he wants thanks to his superiority recognized by the other members. His strength, physical condition and power make him superior to the other individuals in the pack.

We all know a few powerful men who seem to get everything they want simply because they are bold enough and ruthless enough to take it from those who lack the strength to stop them.

Even though we don’t particularly like the dominant males in our environment, we have come to recognize the characteristics of a classic alpha male as qualities. Although they are often inappropriate, we accept them as group leaders.

While I agree that our world needs leaders, I advise against anyone choosing the lifestyle of a super asshole because we are not animals. While this behavior may gain them a momentary position of power, it will not last.

Besides, there is a better way to be a leader.

But first, let’s talk about the characteristics of a basic alpha male.

The False Qualities of the Classic Alpha Male

The classic alpha male makes his way to the top by exhibiting a few common character traits:

Aggression

The best defense is offense. If you see an opportunity, seize it immediately. If you see a vulnerability as an aggressor, you must set the tone. By hitting someone, you are asking them to respond in kind or back down. You are putting them in a position of reaction that, in many cases, is the weakest.

Intractable

As a classic alpha male, your greatest currency is the recognition of your authority. If someone steps on your toes, destroy them. Shoot them down with a snide remark or bide your time and humiliate them. In some circles, demanding respect works faster than earning respect. But the main “benefit” of establishing yourself as a borderline psychopath who retaliates viciously for any slight is that it convinces others to walk a little further.

Fearlessness

Ignore the risks. Or, dump the risk on someone else. Responding to risk acknowledges the possibility of failure, which is an admission of weakness. And you are not weak. By going where the timid will not tread, you reap all the rewards. Big risk-taking ventures make big profits when they do well. And when it goes wrong, there is probably a way to shift the blame onto someone else. When you are an alpha, it is easy to find someone else to blame.

Domination

Superiority is a relative thing. You reach the top by crushing everyone in your path. Your throne is built on a mound of skulls and your powerful reputation precedes you. If someone proves to be an obstacle to your goal, you break them. This sends a strong message to other potential candidates and it shows your strength and superiority. Opponents are either neutralized or intimidated and subjected to your will.

By living the virtues of the classic alpha male who wants to fight his way to the top like a true alpha wolf, you can quickly be at the top of the pyramid.

There is one major downside to this behavior: the higher you climb, the more hostile your environment becomes. With every rung of the ladder you climb, the number of people who would like to take you down increases. All they need is half an opportunity and they will be at your throat.

In addition to the energy expended in dealing with external disturbances, life as a Type A alpha male is physically exhausting. Hostile human alphas are twice as likely to have cardiovascular problems as others.

The life of a classic alpha male is not as easy as it seems.

The virtues of the alpha male 2.0

So what is the other type of alpha male?

How do you channel your ambition into a leadership role without creating disruption?

It’s an art and science that gurus have been studying and pontificating about for ages. But to get started, you can do pretty much the opposite of what a classic alpha male does and get better results.

The assertion

Assertiveness is the number one virtue of the Alpha Male 2.0 and is the key differentiator from the classic Alpha Male. While the classic Alpha Male uses aggression to force his will on others, the new breed of Alpha Male uses assertiveness to get what he wants. Although often confused, assertiveness and aggression are not the same thing.

Assertiveness is confident and frank communication without aggression.

Assertive alphas don’t joke around or mince words. They get to the point and stay on topic, deflecting excuses and attempts at manipulation. But they do it in a way that doesn’t abuse other people’s boundaries.

An assertive alpha doesn’t say, “I created you and I can destroy you, so you better do what I say.” He doesn’t imply that you’re stupid or cowardly for not acquiescing to his will. He says, “I understand that you may have concerns about my proposal. But I believe it’s a solid plan. What is it about the proposal that you find objectionable?” He deflates objections that don’t carry weight and directly addresses those that do. In the end, assertive alphas often gain the support and respect of potential opponents.

This example is more appropriate for the corporate world, but assertiveness is also key when it comes to dating.

When it comes to courting the opposite sex, a large portion of the male population maintains a certain false dichotomy.

We tend to believe that there are only two ways to act:

Either like an arrogant asshole who uses macho lines to get attention
Be like a nice respectful boy.

Here’s a story: When the big jerk gets a girl while being aggressive and the shy guy doesn’t, it’s not because the shy guy is a nice guy. It’s because he’s passive . In situations like this, where the guy doesn’t get the girl, it usually has less to do with the bad guy being aggressive and more to do with the good guy being insecure.

Being passive is not the same as being polite, respectful, or noble. But it often is, which is why so many passive guys choose to be that way. It’s an important distinction to understand. It applies to romantic relationships as well as business, family, and sibling relationships. Passivity in these types of relationships can actually be a disservice to the other party. And the main reason for this is that when you’re passive, you’re not telling people what you want. You’re not telling them what you think, what you feel, or what you believe. There’s nothing wrong with asserting these things about yourself as long as you’re honest, forthright, and respectful of other people’s thoughts, beliefs, and feelings.

If you don’t, you deprive that other person of the opportunity to honor your beliefs and feelings. People are not mind readers. You can’t be mad at someone for not granting your wish if you never made the wish.

Being assertive is liberating for so many reasons. Think of all the negative feelings that result from passivity.

This is why women and power are attracted to assertive people. Note that I said assertive, not aggressive. An aggressive person dominates and forces his agenda on others. An assertive person provides his perspective and desired course of action and invites you to present yours. He investigates objections, diffuses those that have merit, and creates a workable compromise for those that do. He takes charge of problems not in an authoritarian but in a collaborative manner, rather than ignoring or deferring them.

2. Cultivate mutual respect

Alpha 2.0 recognizes that every individual deserves respect, regardless of rank, gender, nationality, education, political views, or corporate allegiance. It shows respect to others because they are human, not because of their enviable distinctions or influence.

By showing respect to everyone, whether they’re delivery people or foreign dignitaries, they’ll be more likely to make a good-faith effort on your behalf. Otherwise, they may not bother to deliver your package by mail before 4:59 p.m., or speak up when they hear someone slandering you behind your back in the elevator.

3. Understand the risks

All businesses have risks. Whether it’s approaching someone at the bar or investing $100 million in a startup. Rather than turning a blind eye to these risks, an alpha 2.0 actively seeks to uncover and examine risks in order to manage them.

By understanding risk, you can identify and quantify it so you can proceed with real confidence, rather than speculation and hubris. Better yet, you may even be able to mitigate or avoid the risk.

4. Empower others

Alpha 2.0 is not only looking for opportunities for himself. He also keeps an eye out for opportunities for others. Because he has a keen sense of talent and character, he is able to build strong bonds between people he trusts.

When opportunity is divided and given to the right people, it multiplies.

Conclusion

Life in the wild is short. Life in human society is not. A ruthless takeover will leave you with a short reign and a kingdom of burned bridges. If you want to pursue your ambitions, whether in the dating game, the corporate world, or elsewhere, do it like a non-sociopath. The slow, sustainable path holds infinitely more rewards.